My Thoughts
Why Traditional Networking Events Are Failing Australian Professionals (And What Smart People Do Instead)
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The last networking event I attended in Brisbane had more awkward small talk than a Year 12 formal. Everyone standing around in circles, clutching their chardonnay, desperately trying to remember if they'd already talked to the person in the navy blazer about quarterly targets.
I've been running leadership development programmes across Australia for the past 18 years, and I'm here to tell you something that'll probably ruffle a few feathers: traditional networking events are absolutely useless for building meaningful professional relationships. Complete waste of time. And yet, companies keep sending their people to these things like lambs to slaughter.
The Problem With "Networking"
Here's what happens at 87% of networking events (and yes, I made up that statistic, but you know it feels accurate): People show up with business cards, exchange pleasantries about the weather, promise to "catch up for coffee soon," and then never speak again. It's like speed dating for business cards.
The whole concept is fundamentally flawed. You're asking introverted accountants and engineers to suddenly become social butterflies in a room full of strangers. Meanwhile, the extroverted sales types dominate every conversation, and the people who could actually benefit most from expanding their network are hiding by the canapé table.
I've watched brilliant professionals—people who can negotiate million-dollar contracts or solve complex technical problems—completely freeze up when asked to "work the room." It's not because they lack social skills. It's because networking events create an artificial environment that has nothing to do with how real relationships are built.
What Actually Works: The Australian Approach
Forget the formal networking events. The most successful professionals I work with build relationships through what I call "purposeful proximity." They put themselves in situations where meaningful connections happen naturally.
Take Melbourne-based architect Sarah Chen (not her real name, but the story's true). Instead of attending property development networking nights, she started volunteering with Habitat for Humanity. Within six months, she'd built genuine relationships with construction managers, project financiers, and community leaders. Two years later, those connections led to three major commercial projects worth over $15 million combined.
That's not networking. That's relationship building with substance.
The key difference? Shared purpose creates stronger bonds than shared industries ever will.
Here's my controversial opinion: the best "networking" happens when you're not trying to network at all. It happens when you're solving problems together, learning something new, or working toward a common goal.
The Five-Step Alternative That Actually Builds Your Network
Step 1: Choose Learning Over Schmoozing
Instead of industry cocktail parties, attend workshops, conferences, or training sessions where you're actively learning alongside others. When I run emotional intelligence training for managers, the connections people make during group exercises are infinitely more valuable than any business card exchange.
People remember the person who helped them solve a challenging case study, not the person who handed them a business card at the bar.
Step 2: Become The Connector
Stop thinking about what others can do for you. Start thinking about who you can introduce to whom. I keep a mental rolodex of the fascinating people I meet, and I'm constantly making introductions. "Hey John, you need to meet Rebecca—she's dealing with the exact same supply chain challenges you mentioned."
This approach transforms you from a taker into a giver. And givers get remembered.
Step 3: Follow The Follow-Up Rule
Here's where most people stuff up completely. They meet someone interesting and then... nothing. Radio silence. The relationship dies before it starts.
My rule: within 48 hours, send a personalised message referencing something specific from your conversation. Not a generic "Nice to meet you" LinkedIn request. Something like: "Hi David, really enjoyed our chat about the challenges with remote team management. I mentioned that book about psychological safety—here's the link: [insert actual book recommendation]."
Step 4: Create Value Before You Need It
The biggest mistake professionals make is only reaching out when they need something. Job hunting? Suddenly they're messaging everyone. But where were they when those contacts needed help?
I spend time each month checking in with my professional network—not because I need anything, but because I genuinely care about their success. Sometimes it's sharing an article relevant to their industry. Sometimes it's congratulating them on a promotion I saw on LinkedIn. Sometimes it's just asking how they're handling a challenge they mentioned months ago.
Step 5: Think Long-Term, Not Transactional
Building a meaningful professional network is like building a garden. You plant seeds, water them consistently, and trust that over time, something valuable will grow. You don't plant a tomato seed on Monday and expect to harvest on Wednesday.
Some of my strongest professional relationships took years to develop. The CFO who now refers significant consulting work to my firm? We met at a project management course in 2019. Stayed in touch. Grabbed coffee occasionally. Built trust slowly. The first piece of work didn't come until 2022.
The Real Secret Sauce
Want to know what separates professionals who build powerful networks from those who collect business cards? It's this: they focus on building relationships with people, not positions.
Too many people network upward exclusively—always chasing the senior executive, the decision-maker, the big fish. But some of my most valuable professional relationships are with people who were junior when I met them and have since risen to senior positions. The graduate accountant from 2015 is now a finance director. The marketing coordinator is now heading up digital strategy for a major retailer.
Treat everyone with respect and genuine interest, regardless of their current position. You never know where they'll end up.
But What About Industry Events?
I'm not saying you should avoid all industry gatherings. Some are genuinely valuable—particularly the smaller, more focused ones. But go with a different mindset.
Instead of trying to meet as many people as possible, aim to have three meaningful conversations. Quality over quantity, every time.
And here's a radical idea: attend events outside your industry. Some of my most innovative client solutions have come from applying concepts I learned from people in completely different fields. The logistics manager who taught me about lean processes? That conversation revolutionised how I structure training programmes.
The Uncomfortable Truth
Here's something that might sting a bit: if you're relying on networking events to build your professional relationships, you're probably not that interesting to network with in the first place.
The professionals who attract strong networks don't chase connections—they become worth connecting to. They develop expertise. They solve problems. They help others succeed. They show up consistently with value to offer.
Think about the people in your network you genuinely admire. I bet they're not the ones who handed you business cards at networking events. They're the ones who've demonstrated competence, integrity, and generosity over time.
Moving Forward: A Different Approach
Stop thinking about networking as an activity you do and start thinking about it as a natural byproduct of being genuinely interested in others and consistently delivering value.
Join professional associations—not for the networking events, but for the working committees where you'll collaborate on meaningful projects. Take courses where you'll work alongside peers on challenging problems. Volunteer for causes you care about where you'll meet like-minded professionals.
The connections you make through shared effort and common purpose will be infinitely more valuable than any you make through contrived conversation at cocktail parties.
And please, for the love of all that's holy, stop asking "What do you do?" as your opening question at professional gatherings. Try "What's the most interesting project you're working on right now?" or "What brought you to this event?" instead.
The Bottom Line
Traditional networking events aren't just ineffective—they're actively counterproductive for many professionals. They create anxiety, waste time, and produce shallow connections that rarely lead anywhere meaningful.
The alternative isn't to become a hermit. It's to be more strategic about how you build professional relationships. Focus on shared experiences, genuine learning, and consistent value creation.
Your future self will thank you for it. And so will the people who become part of your authentic professional network along the way.
Trust me on this one. I've seen too many careers transformed by this approach to go back to the old way of doing things.
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